He Said, She Said: All About Love
“To begin by always thinking of love as an ACTION rather than a FEELING is one way in which anyone using the word in this manner automatically assumes accountability and responsibility. We’re often taught we have no control over our “feelings” yet most of us accept that we choose our actions, that intention and will inform what we do. We also accept that our actions have consequences. To think of actions shaping feelings is one way we rid ourselves of conventionally accepted assumptions such as that parents love their children, or that one simply “falls” in love without exercising will or choice, that there are such things as “crimes of passion,” i.e., he killed her because he loved her so much. If we were constantly remembering that love is as love does, we would not use the word in a manner that devalues and degrades it’s meaning. When we are loving, we openly and honestly express care, affection, responsibility, respect, commitment, and trust.
Definitions are vital starting points for the imagination. What we cannot imagine cannot come into being. A good definition marks our starting point and lets us know where we want to end up. As we move towards are desired destination we chart the journey, creating a map. We need a map to guide us on our journey to love — starting with the place where we know what we mean when we speak of love.” — bell hooks
“When we reveal ourselves to our partner and find that this brings healing rather than harm we make an important discovery — that intimate relationship can provide a sanctuary from the world of facades, a sacred space where we can be ourselves, as we are….This kind of unmasking, speaking our truth, sharing our inner struggles, and revealing our raw edges – is sacred activity, which allows two souls to meet and touch more deeply.” — John Welwood, All About Love: New Visions