Clearly, I have an unhealthy fascination with Diddy. The truth is: I checked DiddyTV this morning for updates and discovered the most absurd Diddy Blog to date…although that might be an arbitrary declaration given how uniquely ridiculous each Diddy Blog is. Apparently, Diddy released his own man fragrance predictably titled “I Am King” exclusively at Macy’s: “defined by unique masculine freshness, sparkling fruits and sensual woods…I AM KING creates a new signature for modern men.” Wait, I’m buggin’ the fuck out. Y’all better be L-O-Ling right about now and that’s just the beginning. In Diddy Blog #35 (35 too many), Diddy debuts his new SIX minute mini-movie (a la Ryan Leslie “Diamond Girl” straight-to-youtube music video trailer) for “I AM KING”. Peep the video first before I comment:

Where to begin? Maybe, the hi-lariously cliche dedication to Barack Obama, Muhammad Ali, and Martin Luther King. Sam said it best: “ali, king and obama, what the hell, that’s like a t-shirt on 125th“. It definitely is. Maybe, it’s the overly referenced James Bond aesthetic tragically evidenced by Diddy riding a jet ski in a tuxedo. Maybe, it’s the dramatic ass voice overs that whisper sweet nothings like “I believe therefore I am” (what the?!?!). One thing is clear: Diddy has lost his mind. Personally, my favorite thing about the movie is the two GIANT model chicks. Diddy looks like a fancy midget walking next to them and he also looks dumb bored on that yacht all by himself in his TLC inspired silk pajamas. Invite some friends, why don’t you?! Lastly, I’d like to co-sign and add one last thing to Vibe’s “What Happened In ’08…Needs To Stay In ’08!: The top 10 things people were saying or doing that they should never say or do again” in the same vein as 10. MUSIC VIDEO TRAILERS: If it’s done, just put it out, please. Life is too short—and so is your video. 10A. MINI-MOVIES FOR FRAGRANCES: See above. What’s next? Trailers for mini-movies? Mini-movies about video blogs? Let’s just hope and pray that Diddy didn’t just open the floodgates for another murderous trend in mainstream rap.

4 Responses to “I AM KING”
  1. James says:

    this is just a preview for the comment I’m about to leave. I run this comment section.

  2. Isa says:

    you’re REALLY good at the internet. start the blog ASAP.

  3. Lois P. says:

    ew ditty, ew.

  4. Diddy is a damn fool. His blig #35 was straight garbage. His head is already big, how much bigger does it need to get with this I am King. It probably will work as a good marketing tool, cause people are sheep…….but I really can’t stand Mr Combs

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