New Ish

—>Shit, another beautiful morning. I woke up underneath this very window, staring straight into the sun. Hard life, huh? Since then, I’ve relocated to the neighborhood spot where it is currently POPPIN’. The Europeans are out in full force for the month of August (to boast their euro in my face and buy out all “le converse” at the city’s finest sneaker stores). They say parts of lower haight bear a striking resemblance to the romantic cobblestone side streets of Italy (or whatever). Yes, my prejudice is alive and well. In any case, I spent the weekend stalking my beloved prepubescent skater/bmxer boys as they loitered outside the union building across from my apartment. After I surrendered to my inability to join the social world, I found great comfort in witnessing the making of their budget homemade youtube videos documenting their best tricks until the cops kicked them out. Stuntin’ is indeed their habit. I don’t know why but it helped me get through some hard times. Of course, I have to give props to the fixed gear bike crews in Berkeley and Frisco for being hands down the most extreme and committed video entrepreneurs/full time show-offs in the Bay Area and perhaps the entire world. (People think that shit started in Brooklyn…but it didn’t). Peep the absurdity:

The hills are no joke out here. I love my heels but up these hills? Forget it yo. I rather downgrade my flyness and live tomorrow. In other news, for those of you who know me well, you know my absolute (yes absolute) shameless love for shamelessly corny r&b. The thing is, I’m not talking about good shit (although I love that too), I’m talking about the bad shit. The shit you turn off on the radio. The shit that is mos definitely responsible for “killing” “good” music. That type of shit. Yesterday, I happened upon up-and-coming r&b cornball extraordinaire Brandon Hines. I love his unapologetic cornball preambles before singing. I know, I know, he’s probably too young to objectify but I’m enamored by his…music (read: lips, the way he wears his fitted and his collaborative relationship with his adorable younger brother). Try and deny bhines, I DARE you:

Granted he runs out of breath towards the end, the first minute and a half is my SHIT. That’s my SHIT (said like katt williams). Can you imagine how happy their mother must be to have birthed such cornballs? “Ma, we’re bored so we’re gonna go record a youtube video of us singing our own track”. Um, OKAY KIDS! The next r&b cornballs are so ridiculous they defy all classification. Why am I impressed/floored by their naive commitment to an aesthetic that so clearly doesn’t work? It’s so bad, it’s good. Get ready for this shit:

My favorite one is the tall dude. He is feelin the music. The lead dude is feelin himself and that damn microphone! HAHAHA! What’s good with the name “Ahmir”? That is trash…but bound to get them far enough in the youtube self-made r&b world. Like Jigga says, you can’t knock the hustle. But seriously, who are these guys? I know most of you are mad at me by now. You’re all busy bodies who have no patience to waste your precious time watching mediocre r&b singers sell themselves on the Internet (I whole heartedly disagree!). Fine, here is some good shit that y’all can and should appreciate: Meet Kissey Asplund:

You’re already sold, right? Predictable. She’s undeniably fly with competitive swag. Of course, I love her complex eye make-up because y’all know me, painted lids all day errday. Swedish soul songstress. Sounds like conversations with aliens. Unique style/music (seriously). She’s been on heavy rotation in my headphones for months. Check her out and judge for yourself. In the meantime, watch this video:

Basically: music is my escape, my perfect place. I’ve been bumping biggie, pac, nas and mos for five straight days. It’s the ultimate therapy. It’s like Dave’s shirt says: Make Hip Hop Not War. Let’s live that. The world is a cruel and strange place. There will always be haters, people who will pull you in and down. I know this is cliche and I promise not to make ending on some moralistic note a trend but…forreal, I have your back if you have mine. Even still, les traigo flores a mis enemigos. (Shout out to Jenn Ayala for that one). This one’s for you homie, we know you’re home now:

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